


Once, A Vision So Bright

by LittleRaven



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Character Accidentally Possesses Their Younger Self, Gen, Main character goes back in time to the body of their younger self and changes what happened, Peggy Sue AU, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 00:31:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15874860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRaven/pseuds/LittleRaven
Summary: It's always Tara.





	Once, A Vision So Bright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kmfillz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmfillz/gifts).



It’s the light. The light. The memory glows; she runs, headless of the voice, just as the first time—Dawn doesn’t understand, of course not—and there, there it is. She can leave. She jumps. 

The place she lands in isn’t hell. Maybe. Buffy blinks into the sunlight of a bedroom that isn’t hers. Wasn’t. She sits in the bed, watching the window. 

Nothing happens. Buffy can see the light beyond it; she slides out of bed, approaching to see the green of the campus trees. Only then does she look at the bed on the other side. It’s full of Willow sleeping. 

The door slams. Buffy runs, again. There aren’t many people around, again. Occasional laughter keeps her going, until she hits a library. 

It’s still. No one inside just yet, no one but the person at the help desk, leaning down, not looking. She hides among the stacks, crouching under a window, and the smoothness of the wooden floor beneath her feels different. Hard. Not the cushioned coffin. It starts. The thin pajamas, full-coverage, the bare feet. She looks down at them, filthy now with grass and...chewing gum. A firm little pink ball. 

She has chewing gum stuck on her foot. 

Buffy doesn’t count the minutes until something else happens. She watches herself, lets her mind come to awareness. This must be hell. A different one; the first was too easy to avoid, to flee. Her head snaps up at the sound of footsteps, and a shadow falls across her, blocking the light of the window. 

Of course. The familiarity is complete. Tara is in one of her dreams again. Except Buffy’s sure it’s not a dream. She’d felt the pain too much for it to be otherwise. She shudders. That’s not a good idea; she can’t be vulnerable to apparitions. Who knows what they want? 

 

What the vision of Tara wants, in this case, is to check if Buffy is still alive. To ask, of course, before asking someone else for help. Or she assumes that had been the intention—after the first question, Tara had looked her in the eye and not followed up with anything else, for which she was grateful. Buffy had stood, knowing she was watched, and gone back to her room. 

No point in the fear. She doesn’t want attention; whatever this is, she won’t have it made more difficult. She won’t make a scene. Once night falls, she’ll be alone. It’s not the last time she’ll see Tara, she’s sure. 

 

It’s not a surprise that she doesn’t have to seek her out. Tara comes unbidden. Just as it had happened before. Now, Buffy had waited, floating quietly through the day as if it were the dream it couldn’t be. Another dream had happened instead, the Gentlemen come back as if she doesn’t already know. A little fairy tale touch for the scifi experience she’s having. 

She’s leaving campus to look for them when Tara stops her. 

“Hey.”

Her arms are full of books. 

“Hey’s a start.” 

 

“Well. That’s not exactly easy. And if you change anything...I-I’m not sure what’ll happen.” Tara looks at her, face soft but set. The books rest on her bed, by her pillow. This is not someone who takes the alteration of natural law lightly. 

Buffy doesn’t tell her about the resurrection. She turns away from her eyes, looking out toward the night outside Tara’s dorm room window. 

The silence presses on, until Tara crosses over to put a hand on her shoulder. Buffy steps away. The movement is automatic; she follows it with going to the bed, sitting, focused on the floor.

“Sorry,” Tara says. “I didn’t mean to press. It must be hard.”

She lets the silence continue, squeezing her hands together. They should bleed from that. But her cuts are healed down to the scabs falling off. As usual, there are no scars. Maybe it shouldn’t surprise her, to have come back. Nothing ever seems to leave its mark where it can be seen. Where it must be respected.

“Well, you must’ve noticed. Weird stuff happens sometimes. I’m used to it.” Her voice is flat. “It’s just time’s not the dimension I tend to worry about.” She shrugs, and it turns into shaking. “It’s.” She stops. She sits rigidly on Tara’s bed. If she doesn’t say anything she won’t make a mess. She can put it together, as she does. 

“Of course.” Tara picks up the books on her bed, sets them on the floor. She sits some space away from Buffy, not moving to touch her. 

Buffy looks over to her. “Yeah.” It’s full, the quiet. It’s almost okay, even though nothing is. Buffy’s gaze shifts to her hands, then Tara again. This time she reaches for her—

There’s air, and metal under her hands. Dawn is screaming. She swings from it, throwing herself beneath her, wrapping her up and rolling as they hit the concrete, Buffy curled around Dawn.

Her arms are tight, tucking her sister in as she breathes rapidly. Buffy rests her chin on Dawn’s shoulder, still again, not half as ready as her body seems to be. 

 

She settles into it, in the shadows of her own bed. She waits for Dawn to stop pacing in her room, longer until Dawn might be sleeping. 

At the bottom of the stairs, Buffy stops to look up. Tara stands above. Good. 

It should be easier this time. It’s not, she realizes in the seconds it takes to reach the living room. 

This time, it’s another thing entirely. She’s aware of Willow upstairs. So is Tara, though her eyes remain on Buffy. 

So. 

“We got the right time. That’s good. It can’t be easy, but that’s good.” 

Buffy turns her face towards Tara. “You didn’t tell.” Not with how they had reacted. 

She’s not sure whether that’s good or bad. But it’s right. 

“No. It’s enough to bring you back. It looks like we’d have done it anyway.” Tara is steady, almost as if it all makes sense. When Buffy doesn’t answer, she fills the silence. “It seemed more dangerous to say anything, but we could now if you—”

“No.” Buffy takes a breath, then another. “I don’t. Thank you.” 

She doesn’t speak again. 

“We’re glad to have you. You can just take it easy. Well, not easy, because it’s your life. But we’re here for you while you need it.” Tara gets up. 

Buffy pulls at her hand. Tara sits beside her. None of it’s a dream; she knows it mind and body. She’s there. Tara’s there. 

They are here.


End file.
